Everything felt heavy, hard to hold, impossible to move through. The simplest tasks felt monumental. I couldn’t understand why — all I knew was that I had lost my spark. My fire had dimmed. I wasn’t myself anymore.

Then I stumbled across a podcast that introduced me to Polyvagal Theory — an explanation of how our nervous system works, how it responds to stress, how dysregulation shows up in our everyday lives and bodies. And suddenly, something clicked.

I felt seen.
I felt validated.
I had been riding the ladder of states — from regulation (Ventral Vagal) to Sympathetic (fight & flight), to Freeze and Dorsal (shutdown) — over and over again. And it was exhausting.

But I realized something life-changing:
My nervous system was working so hard to keep me safe. I just hadn’t learned how to listen to it yet.

The turning point

In January 2023, I took my first course on The Polyvagal Theory. I dove into understanding the nervous system — and, more importantly, how to regulate it. I learned practices I could apply immediately: neural exercises, somatic tools, gentle daily rituals.

Slowly, the fog began to lift.
I started connecting the dots — all the moments from the year before that had felt confusing and frustrating now made sense:

• The hours in front of my laptop, unable to do anything.

• The days lost in bed, watching shows because I had no energy for anything else.

• The brain fog. The disconnection. The lack of motivation. The overwhelm from responding to a single text. The confusion around making decisions.

My body was telling me we were not okay.

And finally, I listened.

Later that year, I took the same course again — this time not just as a student, but as someone deeply devoted to this work. I wanted to absorb every word. I couldn’t believe this essential knowledge — how our bodies work, how we respond to life, how we can find our way back to ourselves — wasn’t taught in schools.

In autumn 2024, after laying the groundwork with two previous courses on nervous system regulation, I took my studies a step further by training with The Polyvagal Institute, deepening my understanding and expanding my ability to support others through the powerful tools of nervous system care.

This work changed my life.
And now it shapes everything I do.

The big shift

What changed everything was this one understanding:

Our nervous system filters how we experience the world.
It colors our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, our relationships. Like putting on rose-colored glasses — except instead of pink, it might be the lens of fear, urgency, freeze, collapse, or numbness.

Here’s what that can look like:

Sympathetic (Fight/Flight):
Like a cheetah on the run. Everything feels urgent. You’re anxious, agitated, overdoing. You can’t stop — because if you do, it all might fall apart.

Freeze (Tonic Immobility):
Like a deer in headlights. You want to act, but you can’t. You’re frozen, overwhelmed. You think about texting back all day, but never do. You want to start your creative project — but the first step feels impossible.

Dorsal (Shutdown):
Like a bear in hibernation. You feel withdrawn, hopeless, numb. Disconnected from others and yourself. Nothing feels possible. You want to stay in bed. You can’t focus, can’t begin.

And none of this means something’s wrong with you. It means your body is doing its job — trying to protect you.

Read that again.

What regulation gave me

Learning to regulate gave me something no mindset work or productivity hack ever could:
A deeper sense of safety.
In my body. In my creativity. In my life.

For years, I took the business courses, the money programs. I’d find moments of alignment and success — only to crash into burnout again. I thought I lacked strategy.

But what I lacked was capacity.

My nervous system was saying: We can’t hold this right now. It’s too much.
And when we’re in survival mode, our thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) can shut down. Clarity, focus, decision-making — it all feels so far away.

I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t broken.
And neither are you.

What changed for me

✨ I moved through some of the darkest seasons of my life with more grace.
✨ I built a weekly writing practice — now going strong for 90 weeks on Substack.
✨ I began healing my body with the support of a functional doctor, acupuncturist, and naturopath.
✨ I showed up, fully present and powerful, during a loved one’s health crisis — and it transformed us both.
✨ I found soul-aligned friendships and community.
✨ I rebuilt my business from a place of trust and inner safety.

And perhaps most beautifully:
I began again. One tolerable step at a time.

Why this matters for creatives, dreamers & visionaries

When we’re dysregulated, even the things we long for can feel like a threat.
Starting the project. Launching the offer. Booking the trip. Speaking your truth. Falling in love. Moving overseas.

It’s not that we’re not ready — it’s that our body doesn’t feel safe.

Nervous system regulation gives us that safety — not from perfection or external control, but from within.
From the deep knowing: I can meet this moment.

It allows us to take action without overriding ourselves.
To begin without burning out.
To stay with our dreams long enough to bring them to life.
To move forward, not from hustle, but from wholeness.

For me, it wasn’t about becoming fearless.
It was about becoming safe enough to move anyway.

If you’re standing at the edge of a new beginning...

…let me remind you: tiny, tolerable steps are enough.
They were everything for me.

And if this resonates — if you're a creative, dreamer, visionary, or tender-hearted soul standing at the threshold of something new — I’d love to invite you into The Seed Studio.

This is a 4-week creative greenhouse for your next brave beginning.
Together, we’ll plant the seed of a project, a vision, or a new chapter — and tend to it with care.

Inside The Seed Studio, you’ll find:

• Nervous system tools to regulate and anchor.

• Creative mapping to turn your ideas into doable steps.

• Inner voice practices to access your truth.

• Co-creation, witnessing, and soulful support from others on the same path.

You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need a seed. A nudge. A little spark of light through the crack.

We'll begin in May (we’ve gently moved the original start date to give it more space to bloom). If you want to be the first to know when doors open — join the waitlist here.

Let’s plant what’s next, together.

P.S: If you’re standing at the edge of a creative project, a new life chapter, or a vision you’re ready to finally bring to life — you don’t have to do it alone. You get to feel safe in your body and supported by community.

Autumn came with the thunder.

It shook the ground beneath me and jolted me into action.

The fog that usually settles in November has come way early this season and stole a bit of the spotlight of October’s golden sun rays. So I’ve focused on the trees instead and their soulful beauty as they’re gently letting go. Collecting fallen leaves and slipping them in my books. Walking in my favorite park that comes to life end of October. Sauna sessions with friends. Yoga. Chai lattes and working sessions in cafes.

Even though this season has been full of life and intensity, I’ve felt right at home. I always do in autumn. One thing that’s been supportive this season while navigating big things is making sure that I tend to my body and nervous system. It’s made the biggest shift in how grounded and calm I felt.

Having resources we can put into practice is so supportive to cultivate more healthy habits and tend to our nervous system as we build capacity for more life.

As we’ve seen since stepping into this new decade, the collective energy has only been intensifying. Everyone’s going through something- often times big things we don’t know about. So much is happening, from all directions. We’ve got to prioritize grounding ourselves and learning how to regulate our nervous system if we want to stay anchored and support our communities.

I am offering you three ways to tend to your body, ideal for this season. The first one can be used anytime really. I hope they support you in navigating the big emotions that may be swirling in at the moment.

3 practices to ground back into your body and regulate your nervous system

1. Right Here, Right Now

A neural exercise I learned this season while training with the Polyvagal Institute. I’ve been using it every day, multiple times a day which is the best way to support my nervous system, in a hectic season of life. Learning to self-regulate is such a life-changing practice. Creating safety within ourselves so we can take steps forward.

As you inhale, you repeat in your mind ‘right here’ and as you exhale, you repeat ‘right now’. You can do around 10 to 15 repetitions. Notice how you feel afterwards. How is it shifting your presence, your emotions, your mood, your energy, your physical body?

Simple as that. We tend to want to complicate things when it’s really about going back to the basics and connecting with our body. We can practice this neural exercise anywhere at anytime. I’ve used it before medical appointments, while in conversations, in public transports, on walks and just throughout my day as a way to tend to my nervous system. It’s a way to show your body and nervous system that it is loved and taken care of. Remember that using words to calm down or as affirmations don’t work as your nervous system doesn’t speak verbal language, only somatic. The answer is through the body.

2. Yoga Nidra

I’ve been taking the time this year to get into bed under the covers and press play on this yoga nidra session with Ally Boothroyd on afternoons when I feel I need a little reset. It’s been part of my “nervous system resources”. It’s such a good way to rest our body and mind. If you head to her Youtube channel, you’ll find shorter or longer versions too. It’s so relaxing and soothing and allows me to drop into my body and completely relax. It’s a perfect practice for the darker and colder months when our bodies need more rest and nourishment.

3. Coherence Breathing

Breath is life. This practice is so good to calm the mind as well and super supportive of good health. This rhythmic breathing supports better sleep, more energy and more regulation with our nervous system.

Breathe gently through your nose, into your belly. Inhale for 6 seconds and exhale for 6 seconds. That creates a rhythmic breath of 5 rounds of breath a minute. Repeat a few times throughout your day.

Movies that feel like a warm blanket on an autumn late afternoon…

• When Harry met Sally

• Sleepless in Seattle

• You’ve got mail

• An autumn in New York

A song for healing

Moving to the rhythm of autumn…

Have you ever thought of adjusting your lifestyle and rhythm to the season? Do you keep the same habits, schedule, bedtime, meals, activities, hobbies, exercises throughout the year? Something I love and encourage people to do is to create new rhythms for each season. We’ve lost the art of living in sync with the seasons with all the modern technology and lifestyle. We live on a perpetual summer while nature and animals around us adapt and change as the days gets darker and shorter. They all prepare for winter, for hibernation, for slowing down.

What doesn’t feel aligned for you - in your weekly schedule- to bring into late autumn and winter? Late nights? Salads and smoothies? Long work hours? Intense workouts?

What could feel extra warm, cosy and nourishing this season?

What is one thing you could change or shift to bring a feeling of extra cosiness for the season, to nourish your body and soul?

A few things I’ve shifted to align my life to autumn’s energy:

• Eating dinner early (between 5-6pm most days).

• Going to bed early (8-9pm…I’ve been needing the early sleep as my body’s been walking up a little too early lately).

• Using red light therapy panels - for evenings and mornings - to support my circadian rhythm which is so important for overall health.

• Weekly sauna sessions with friends, alternating sauna with lake dips. It obviously feels really good to sweat, and it boosts my immune system and detox pathways.

• Making sure I go out for walks and get some sunlight (even on cloudy days).

• Warm meals. Soups. Leek quiche. Oven baked squash and rooted veggies. Animal proteins.

• Read a good book instead of scrolling.

• Acupuncture sessions.

• Using essential oils as perfume and immune booster during colder months.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments - how are you nourishing yourself this autumn?

Marisa xx

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Nervous system regulation is essential to create and live a life that feels true and authentic to who we are, aligned with our values and go after what we dream of.

Our autonomic nervous system speaks a somatic language (soma means body), not a verbal one. The information goes 80% from body to brain and 20% from brain to body. You can repeat “calm down” to yourself or others a million times - it won’t bring your nervous system into regulation. (We’ve all experienced that). Same with affirmations or positive thinking. What we need is to bring the body in safety. To show our nervous system that we’re safe through practices or regulating resources.

We can’t talk our way into regulation, safety or gratitude. All the mindset work we see in the coaching industry only works when we’re already in regulation with our nervous system. If we feel anxious, overwhelmed, frozen, depressed or frustrated or if we don’t feel safe having the things we deeply desire - using mindset tools won’t help us move forward or change habits. No amount of willpower will win against our nervous system protecting us and keeping us alive.

Understanding this was life-changing for me. It completely changed the way I perceive myself, the situations I felt stuck in and how I show up in the world.

Read that again.

It is the foundation.

I’m sharing with you accessible ways to move towards regulation, which we call the Ventral Vagal Complex state in the Polyvagal Theory, the regulated state of safety and connection.

A reminder: the intention is not to be in Ventral all the time. Meaning we don’t want to be regulated 24/7. We want our nervous system to be able to react to what’s coming our way and protect us when it is needed. What we desire is that our default mode becomes a state of presence, safety, healing, connection and love which we experience when in Ventral. We want to have the capacity to handle life challenges by going into dysregulation when needed.

There’s two ways to regulate our nervous system.

One is by self-regulating, the other is by co-regulating.

Self-regulation is the things / practices / activities we do on our own to regulate our nervous system.

Self-regulation ideas:

Forest walks, feeling the sun on our face, warm showers, breathing fresh air, singing, chanting, meditation, reading, swaying, humming, cooking, creating art, exercise, being in nature, walking barefoot, arranging flowers, being in or around water, swimming, hiking, yoga, breathing, coloring, painting, supportive self-touch, tapping, writing.

Co-regulation is the things / practices / activities we do with someone else to regulate our nervous system.

Co-regulation ideas:

Making plans with a friend, facetiming your bestie or family, working in a cafe, being with pets, receiving a massage, running errands, hugging, spending time with your partner / friends / kids, watching videos of people who register as safe, going on a walk where you’ll see other people, talking to the cashier, barista or neighbor, watching your favorite TV show.

Look at your week and identify the things that usually bring you into dysregulation.

If you know you have a big week coming up or you have to do things that are bringing you into dysregulation (stress, fear, anxiety, overwhelm), you can squeeze regulating practices in between to prevent your nervous system to go deeper into dysregulation.

Another important thing. When we’re dysregulated, our nervous system doesn’t want to regulate. It thinks there’s a lion chasing us or that there’s some kind of danger so why would it want to go back to regulation if it thinks it’s not safe.

Implementing new habits and practices that support our nervous system is creating new neural pathways in our brain and doing that takes an incredible amount of energy to do so. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t underestimate these practices that may seem simple, yet are working in the most miraculous ways to support our nervous system.

I also invite you to create your own list of regulating resources - the practices, rituals and activities that bring you in the present moment, make you feel calm, creative, open and alive. Look at all the ways you’re already practicing and doing things that support you in regulating your nervous system. Make sure when you plan your week to add them to your schedule.

If you resonate with this topic and are curious to explore a little more how it impacts your own life and find solutions to support your wellbeing, I’ll soon open some 1:1 coaching sessions to guide you in bringing more safety and regulation in your life so you can step into a life that feels alive, present, safe and fun. Stay tuned. You can also send me a message through Substack if you’re interested. It has changed my life and I want to share this information with others.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, I’d love a little heart button love, a comment to share your thoughts or experiences with examples that bring you a sense of connection and grounding. Share this with a friend who could need this information. I’d love this wild-hearted newsletter to grow and reach more kindred spirits in the community, so feel free to restack it! Big thank you. xx

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I pretty much think on a weekly - sometimes daily - basis that I’m grateful I have some tools and resources to regulate my nervous system and come back into my body to feel more grounded, nourished and anchored. The level of dysregulation on a collective level that we’ve been experiencing the last five years (almost five years since 2020, how is that possible?! 🤯) has been so amplified. There’s so much going on - in our personal lives, in our inner circle and globally. I wrote a post about the three layers of life if you’ve been struggling with all the things happening.

Most of us find themselves in some prolonged state of dysregulation, often without really being aware of it. First of all, it’s totally normal to fluctuate between different states within the nervous system. That’s how it’s supposed to work. We’re not meant to only stay in Ventral (the state when we experience regulation and feelings of presence, joy, safety and creativity) all the time. Our autonomic nervous system is meant to navigate through the ups and downs of life. Imagine a wave instead of big highs and big lows. Something happens, our nervous system reacts and bring us to Sympathetic, Freeze or Shut Down and then we can come back to regulation. The problem is that with so much going on, and without the awareness or knowledge around nervous system regulation, we tend to stay stuck in a dysregulated state for long period of times which can feel exhausting and keep us stagnant and impact our health too.

The three states of dysregulation:

Sympathetic: lot of energy stuck in the body, overworking, a sense of urgency, feeling anxious / frustrated / worried / angry / rage / burnout, disrupted sleep, always on the go. Like a lion chasing us.

Freeze: overwhelmed / blank/ stuck / sense of urgency yet feeling frozen, procrastination, you want to do something but you can’t, you think about something all day without being able to do it. Like a deer in the headlights.

Shut down: feeling apathy / helpless / hopeless / lethargic / depressed / disconnected / in a funk. There’s very little energy in that state. It all feels like too much. It’s a state of energy conservation. Like a bear in hibernation.

There’s many ways to regulate our nervous system and one that is so wonderful and not only good for our nervous system but for our overall health is nature. And it’s free.

So in this post, I’ll dive deeper into how we can regulate ourselves and find grounding and nurturing by being in nature.

You might think this is cliché. We all know the benefits of nature. Yet how much time per day or week do you spend immersed in nature? How do you feel when you’re connecting with sunshine, swimming in sacred waters or walking in a forest?

We might live in different environments and maybe loving living in concrete jungles like London, Paris or New York. Yet there’s always ways to connect and benefit from nature’s elements.

One major thing that’s impacting our health and vitality is all the time we spend indoors.

The most important thing is to spend time outside.

We spend 93% of our time indoors! Read that again. (I’ll never not feel the absurdity and sadness in my body when I share this stat). This statistic comes from an American research yet it’s probably very similar for other western countries. That means most of us spend around 7% of our day outdoors.

We spend most of our time indoors - from our home to office, in our cars or public transport. At the gym, at the cafe or restaurant.

We are under bright lights and neons, noise, pollution, distraction and indoor air. We eat in front of our screens at lunch time. We spend our evenings with blue lights on our devices, TV and the artificial lights at home which all disconnect our body from its natural process of winding down at night. We’re completely disconnected from the rhythm of the sun. Our body thinks it’s day light all the time. Darkness stimulates the pineal gland which releases the hormone melatonin for sleep. When we’re exposed to light, it reduces melatonin which impacts the quality of our sleep.

That’s why I only use Himalayan salt lamps once the sun has set as it doesn’t disrupt the circadian rhythm clock and production of melatonin as it illuminates red light hues like a fire or candles which have been used for centuries. I also get my morning sunlight in the first hour of waking up to promote a good night sleep and regulate my circadian rhythm which impacts our hormones, energy levels, sleep and mood.

If you think about how long humans have been living on this earth and how recent the blue light screens and even light bulbs have been around- it’s such a short fraction of time. We are just starting to grasp the impact and side effects of these new technology in our lives the last few years. The invention of light bulbs were in the 1880’s. Before that, we lived with the rhythm of the sun, candles and fire which are all in the red light hues which is good for our body.

When we feel down or disconnected we often tend to stay in bed or at home with the same stagnant energy. It can be hard to get out of bed or stop the binge watching. Something you can do is go spend time with the natural elements to nourish your whole being and engage your five senses.

Let nature be the bridge between your anxiety, overwhelm or low energy and feeling more grounded and regulated.

Living in cities makes us more disconnected from nature and require much more effort to stay grounded. The amount of health and mental benefits we receive from spending time in nature is deeply healing.

You can find below practices to connect you to the elements. Nature is the best medicine and a great way towards regulation. It’s also a great way to beat jet lag. When you land to a new place, find a spot of nature to ground - from a swim to laying on the sand or grass. Grounding will support your travels and the dysregulating energy that comes with it.

Connect with earth through the elements.

Give back anything you’d like to release and that doesn’t belong to you - back to the water, wind, soil and fire.

Make it a sacred connection.

Give thanks to earth medicine.

GROUND WITH THE ELEMENTS

GROUND WITH EARTH 🌲

△ Earth element

Earth is the autumn element.

It is solid and dense. It brings us a feeling of stability, strength, grounding and support. It also invites trust, wisdom and confidence.

It is represented by grass, sand, rocks, mountains, trees and soil. Earth elements are one of the quickest way to ground ourselves.

Ways to ground:

Walk barefoot in the sand or grass. Lay down in a park. Gardening or taking care of your plant babies. Put your hands in the soil. Hug some trees. Hike. Go camping. Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku - a Japanese practice of immersing ourselves around trees) is good for boosting our immune system, reducing inflammation, uplifting your mood, increasing your energy and improving your sleep. Grounding therapy helps you feel more rooted and balanced. You can also visualise roots being the extension of your feet, connecting you to the earth. The idea is to feel grounded like a tree - strong roots and flexible branches that can sway with the wind.

Connect to the earth when you need grounding, when you’re feeling scattered.

Repeat: “I release it back to the earth. Anything that doesn’t belong to me, I let go.”

GROUND WITH WATER 🌊

△ Water element

Water is the winter element.

It is fluid and all about flow, emotions and intuition.

Ways to ground:

Go swim in the sea, ocean or lake. Find a river or stream for a dip or to put your hands into. Take a candlelit bath or hot shower. Go for a surf. Immerse yourself in the healing waters. Let yourself be completely soaked by a tropical rain can feel so cleansing. Next time it rains, go for a walk or sit by the window and make it cosy. As you go to sleep, listen to the sound of rain - either in real life or on Spotify or meditation app. In winter, play in the snow, go skiing or on a walk on snowy trails.

Let the water heal you. Cleanse you. Awaken every cell of your body. And bring you peace. Let the water wash over you. Over your worries and fears. Let it bring you a big exhale. Feel the aliveness. Let it shake you up. Wake you up. To its power and life force energy. Embrace the sacred ritual. This gift from Mother Earth. To immerse yourself in the natural flow of life. To find stillness in your mind. To reconnect with your body.

GROUND WITH FIRE 🔥

△ Fire element

Fire is the summer element.

It activates transformation, passion, confidence and power. Fire is about action, creativity, passion, courage, motivation and movement.

Ways to ground:

Feel the sunshine on your skin. Get some vitamin D and expose your skin to receive the sun energy. Get some morning light in your eyes when you wake up. Watch the sunset. Go sweat in a sauna. Drink a warm cup of your favourite herbal tea. Sit by the fire. Light some non-toxic candles. Go move your body and activate your heart rate. Meditate with a candle and gaze at the flame - visualise the flame igniting your own inner fire. Burn some sage, palo santo or local herbs to cleanse the space. Use red light therapy.

It gives us light, warmth and energy. It’s a source of power.

GROUND WITH AIR 💨

△ Air element

Air is the spring element.

It connects to clarity, ideas, thoughts, communication and mindset. It also brings change and movement.

Ways to ground:

Breathe some fresh air to oxygenate your lungs, brain and cells. It will give you more energy and focus, strengthen your immune system, clear your lungs and improve your digestive system. Our breath is our very own wind. Fresh air will leave you feeling invigorated and more vibrant. Even 5-minute breaks at your window to breathe more deeply and listen to the birds. Have you noticed how mountain, forest or ocean air shifts your mood? We breathe more oxygen which elevate serotonin levels - the happy hormone. These environments contain negative ions which elevate our mood too.

Call in the wind when you need a new start, deep cleanse or feel heavy. Take a wind bath. Feel the wind on your skin. Let it cleanse you. Let your hair down, close your eyes, open your arms and really feel the wind as a friend who’s here to cleanse you from any stagnant energy. Ask the wind to release any sticky energy back to the earth. Let the wind sweep your worries and any heavy emotions. Find lightness through the spirit of the wind. The wind bring change and purify your environment. Open your windows to cleanse your space.

What is your relationship to the wind? A summer breeze on a hot day? A gust of wind in Autumn? A windy day? How does your hair + face feel like when facing the wind?

I’d love to hear from you and what makes you feel grounded. What’s your favorite way to immerse yourself in nature? What’s the environment you live in? I loved living by the salty sea and jungle of Costa Rica. I’ve never felt so part of nature and living to her rhythms. It felt so nourishing. The mountains feel so deeply grounding for me as well.

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You are energy.

We’re mostly made of energy. We feel and respond to the energy around us. We might not always be aware of it, yet there are things in our environment that give us energy and feel nourishing and other things that deplete our energy.

Part of living with intention, focusing on regulating our nervous system, filling our lives with abundance and gratitude, feeling a sense of vitality are connected to our energy.

I’m always curious about getting to know myself better. Becoming more intimate with my soul, my body and inner world.

If that’s you too, I want to invite you to explore your energy.

Looking at what gives us energy. What feels like medicine. What takes up our energy and what drains us. Once we’re aware, we can move towards creating a life that is filled with things that make us feel good and reduce what doesn’t nourish us.

You can find a list of energy givers and energy takers below.

I also invite you to create your own list with the things that feel like medicine for you. Identify the things that leak your life force energy. Places, people, activities and environments hold energy. Low energy could be your workplace, your home, your relationship, your lifestyle, your neighborhood. Pattern and habits. Beliefs and thoughts. Identify the leaks and remove / avoid them as much as possible.

Our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, actions and perception of self are connected to our nervous system which is responsible for all of it. By regulating our nervous system daily, we change our thoughts and actions. The more we feel safe within, the more we can take aligned actions. In order to change our thoughts, we have to regulate.

ENERGY GIVERS

quality sleep. sunlight. music + dancing. swimming. hydration. meditation. pranayama. yoga. forest bathing. nature walks. resting. fresh air. movement + exercise. laughing. cuddles + hugs. dogs. community. soulful connection. nourishing food. decluttering. deep breaths. creativity. new projects. reading. journaling. acupuncture. massage. healthy sex. gratitude. tree hugging. bare feet in the grass. watching sunrise + sunsets. play. nervous system regulation resources. somatic practices. podcasts. documentaries. good fiction books. listening to birds chirping. smelling the flowers. watching videos that regulate your nervous system. painting. sauna.

ENERGY TAKERS

junk + processed food. alcohol. screen time. no physical movement. resentment. artificial lights. loud noise. disrupted sleep. dehydration. sugar. unhealthy relationships. no sunlight. chronic stress. negativity. TV. the news. mess + clutter. overworking. stuck in fear. avoiding emotions + feelings. gossips. toxins. unhealthy sex. being in a job you hate. strong perfumes + toxic scents. too much indoor living. binge watching. too much in your mind. not enough in your body. part of a million group text. notifications on your phone.

We all have different levels of sensitivity. Sometimes we don’t really realize what gives or takes our energy as we function on autopilot mode. That’s why it’s a good thing to reflect on what feels good to our body + mind + spirit so we can prioritize those things.

Create your own energy givers and energy takers list to bring more intentionality to your life and be really clear on what you want more of in your daily life. The energy givers are usually regulating for your nervous system too and so important to cultivate a sense of grounding and anchor in our everyday lives.

What would you add to these lists?

What feels like soul medicine for you?

What nourishes / inspires / elevates you?

What makes you feel small / heavy / contracted?

What brings you into regulation?

What makes you feel dysregulated?

For me the biggest medicine is nature as it brings all my senses to life. The smell of the salty sea, dried pine needles on the forest floor, ylang ylang floating in the air at dusk in Costa Rica, Jasmine flowers on my walks, autumn earthy smells in the mountains, the sound of my feet walking in the snow, spring mornings in the city, trees. The way standing next to a waterfall or stream activates life force energy within me. Swimming in salty waters feels so cleansing and refreshing. The breeze on my face. Walking barefoot. Gardening. Hearing the sound of rain or stream. The birds chirping is instantly soothing.

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From overwhelmed to grounded.

Through the chaos that is life (especially the last few years), we could all use some daily practice to regulate our nervous system.

Learning all about nervous system regulation has been life changing for me. As I navigated a long winter season of life, I looked for ways to control my anxiety, freeze or overwhelm and understand a little bit more what was going on in my body, mind and life. I found nervous system regulation which has been the biggest blessing.

Learning and practicing nervous system regulation has brought much more understanding, compassion and safety within.

I want to share with you a practice that I do almost daily, usually even without thinking about it, my body naturally does it - and your body might do it too without you realising it’s a good thing for regulating your nervous system.

SWAYING AS A REGULATING RESOURCE

Swaying from side to side. Whether you’re standing up or sitting down, you can do this simple movement anytime during your day to move towards what we call the Ventral state in Polyvagal Theory which is our regulated nervous system state when we feel safe and present. Ground your feet (if you’re standing) or your sit bones (if you’r sitting) and allow some softness in the body to sway from side to side.

I often sway when I’m in line at the grocery store, waiting for the train or bus, in the sunshine on my balcony, during little breaks here and there throughout my day - amongst other regulating resources.

Swaying is an option that is available almost anytime. You can do it when you’re on the phone, waiting in line, as a break from being glued to your laptop, when you wake up or go to sleep, before a meeting or boarding a plane.

You can do this practice when you’re feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, frozen or shut down. If you’re anxious or agitated, the intention is to feel more grounded and calm afterwards. If you’re more in shut down, feeling a bit lethargic and disconnected, you’ll want to receive some energy from the practice. You can also sway when you’re regulated too as it’s the kind of practice that the more we do it, the more our nervous system register this practice as safe. Every time we do it, it adds up - like a rep at the gym. When we want to build muscles, it doesn’t happen in one session at the gym- it happens over time with repetition. The more we practice a regulating tool, the more our bodies remember and will support us towards feeling more grounded, present and safe.

We rock babies intuitively - for sleep, for comfort or to bring them back to regulation when crying. We love a good rocking chair moment. Rocking or swaying feels good to our nervous system.

Take a moment to notice how you feel after swaying for a minute.

Do you notice any subtle shifts and sensations in your body or mind?

What to look for:

If you notice that you start yawning, or your stomach gurgling, feeling more present and anchored, taking deeper breaths - those are signs that it’s working and that your nervous system is moving towards Ventral and regulation. It is your body discharging the stress and tension from your body. Take a moment to notice how you feel after the practice.

I’m a big yawner. Every time I practice regulating resources, I yawn and take deeper breaths. I love it as I can feel the stress and tension leaving my body and feeling more calm, grounded and present.

What I’ve learned the last couple of years is that the simple practices are the most potent and that it’s all about repetition. Especially regulating tools that are somatic (involving the body). Somatic resources feels more supportive than just consciously taking deep breaths when I’m nervous as sometimes this feel hard to shift the breathing pattern. By focusing on the body, it’s letting our nervous system and brain know we’re safe and we’ll often start breathing deeper or discharging energy by yawning for example. The more we repeat them, the more they become part of our daily practice, the more we move towards Ventral (feeling safe and present).

Are you a natural swayer? Try it and report back. I’d love to hear what you notice from this regulating practice. Do you feel any sensations?

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The last four years have been a lot - on a collective level, in our personal lives and for the people around us.

Have you felt that too?

I’ve witnessed it over and over. In my circle, in the greater community and in my own personal life. In conversation, texts and open-hearted shares on Instagram.

It seems like so many of us have had really challenging years over the last two-four years.

Our exhaustion, overwhelm and burnout comes in layers. Life layers. What I've noticed and experienced myself over the last couple of years is the idea of these three layers that make up our tapestry of feelings, emotions and that impact our nervous system regulation and quality of life.

We live in a very individualistic society where everyone is very much alone - in the western world. Living alone- young and elders, solo parents, nuclear family. So many, simply trying to survive, make a living or get out of a system that isn’t working anymore. Society is ruled by neoliberalism and capitalistic rules which leaves little room for coming together.

The village so many of us deeply desire.

I find these three layers and the way we can show up to them is connected to the state of our nervous system - and ultimately to the way society is set up which makes it hard to bring the village and community support we need and desire. It’s not impossible, yet it requires intentionality and willingness to cultivate community.

By working on ourselves, doing inner work and learning how to regulate our nervous system, we then build capacity to hold more in our bodies. Holding space for others - from a place of being regulated ourselves instead of trying to hold it all together when we’re barely functioning ourselves. We have mirror neurons which means that when someone is regulated, it impacts the people around them too. The beauty of co-regulation.

It’s all so deeply interconnected. Our own lives. And others. We’re not really free, if others aren’t. Same goes for safety and abundance. What does it mean to be successful / free / rich / powerful if we can’t support others in achieving the same things we desire? We’re not separate from what happens in the collective or around us.

I see three layers: our own individual life, our inner circle and the collective.

​

The first layer: our own individual life

Depending the seasons and chapters of life, we might be going through big heavy things like: divorce, break up, health issues, miscarriages, financial stress, relationship dynamics that shift (with partner, family, friends), doing inner work and healing, going to therapy, career shifts or pivots, moving, crossroads and transitions, finding belonging, dreams and visions being stagnant and not happening yet, feeling lonely, depression, solo parenting, feeling stuck, etc. The big life stressors. The dark nights of the soul. Being burned out by all the things we have to juggle on a daily / weekly basis to live. Depending the level of challenges and capacity to regulate, we might have a hard time showing up for the second or third layer while we’re drowning ourselves. The examples I mentioned would definitely bring us into states of dysregulation and what that does is that it narrows our vision and world. We can’t see what’s around us. Because we’re in protection mode, we only have limited vision and energy.

​

The second layer: our inner circle

This includes family, partner, friends and close community. Whatever they're going through - we feel it too and are being impacted by it. From health issues, divorce, crisis, single mothers managing it all, solo parenting, miscarriages, deaths, mental health, financial stress, trying to conceive, and the good things too like pregnancies, birthdays, celebrations. We want to be there, support and help in any way we can. We want to celebrate the good stuff too. This add another layer on top of our own life challenges (again depending our life seasons). We might not have a lot of capacity to show up or do anything. We might also be directly or indirectly impacted by their own challenges and life stories. If we’re deeply dysregulated by our own life situation, we may have little space to show up and be there for others the way we would like. We may want to celebrate friends or family in big ways and not have the emotional or financial capacity. We may want to cook or offer support to a friend in need and juggle a million things in our own world. We may want to be more present with friends who grieve, yet we’re working full time and taking care of others as well. There’s a million scenarios possible. You most probably have felt similarly at some point in your life. It can add layers of guilt or shame - wanting to be there but having no capacity. Some of us are not even realizing the struggle and despair people close to us are going through because we’re dysregulated ourselves and have limited awareness and capacity.

​

The third layer: the collective

What happens in the world, the ongoing genocide in Gaza, wars, violence, hatred, division, polarity, injustices, the rise of restriction on our freedom, the pollution, chemicals and toxins everywhere, inflation, the big industries ruining the planet and taking over people’s health-freedom and money, the suffering of so many people, political + racial + environmental + socio-economical issues, lack of body autonomy. We're so much more connected to everything that happens in the world with our phones and social media. So much is going on - especially the last four years. This obviously impacts us too. Some of us are activists and hold a fire within to show up and take action while juggling a million things on top of that. We have access to everything that’s happening in the world in the palm of our hand. We see the struggles and horrors on our screens. ​There’s obvious advantage to this as we are more inter-connected than ever and it’s easier to expose everything out. Yet our nervous system which are thousands of years old are not prepared for the level of information we receive daily - through social media and TV. Our nervous system is more set up for the village of 100 people. Another layer of that is having access to people’s lives through social media and the non-stop comparison between their life highlights and what they choose to share online and our own lives. This creates more envy, shame, not enoughness and depression.

When you combine all three layers - again depending our own personal seasons of life- this can feel like all too much to handle. We find ourselves with no capacity to make decisions, to find solutions, to heal, regulate our nervous system and we find ourselves stuck in a spiral. We become really dysregulated - often in freeze or shut down and this can look like being unable to reach out to others for help, binge watching our favorite TV show, finding it hard to get out of bed, brain fog, negative spirals, being defensive and on the edge with everyone around us, withdrawing from the world, having no clarity on the next step we could take, feeling numb or dissociated. Feeling dysregulated can make us feel isolated and alone.

Wherever you find yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system is always protecting you. We don’t choose the state of our nervous system and we can also learn and develop awareness so we can take control back of our lives by implementing regulating resources daily.

• Some of us will be more in SYMPATHETIC - which looks like a cheetah running, lot of energy stuck in the body, overworking, a sense of urgency, feeling anxious / anger / rage / burnout.

• Some of us will be more in FREEZE - which looks like a deer in the headlights, feeling overwhelmed / sense of urgency yet feeling frozen, procrastination, you want to do something but you can’t, you think about something all day without being able to do it.

• Some of us will be more in SHUT DOWN - which looks like a bear in hibernation, feeling apathy / helpless / hopeless / lethargic / depressed / disconnected / in a funk. There’s very little energy in that state. It all feels like too much. It’s a state of energy conservation.

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The more regulated we become, the more we expand our capacity to handle life stuff- our own and others and regulate quicker and more often towards Ventral - which is the state where we experience peace, ease, joy, presence, love, creativity and clarity.

​

I've been there. I know the feeling of one thing after another coming up and feeling unable to do anything, going into freeze or shut down. Like we’re drowning and we desperately want someone to see us or help us. Like we’re on a rollercoaster that’s on fire. Like you’re walking in the desert alone and lost.

Until the end of the year, I offer one-off sessions called NOURISHED - a 90-minute private session to have a safe space to speak about anything that is present for you, learning the basics of nervous system regulation and I'll teach you 3 regulating tools you can directly implement into your life to move towards regulation, safety and presence. Book your session here. (If you can’t find a slot that works for you, simply reach out and we’ll figure out a time). This has been really supportive for clients. To be held, heard and receive tools they can put into practice straight away. I’d love to hold space for you.

Does this post resonate? Can you find yourself in some of these descriptions? I’d love to hear in the comments.

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