Devotion changes everything
On rebuilding my health and watching "Michael" Jackson biopic.
How is it already May? What is time really - especially since 2020? I feel like the world moves differently since then. Like 2019 was the last year when it all felt somewhat normal.
Weeks fly by.
It’s been 5 months since I joined the gym.
A place I never really resonated with in the past as I was mostly teaching yoga, hiking mountains and doing workouts at home. But after a couple of years that brought fatigue, sluggishness and a bunch of health imbalances due to chronic stress, my journey towards vitality led me to the gym. I quickly started to feel my muscles again but it’s only recently that I’m starting to feel a real shift in my body recomposition. My legs have become so strong. I can see my biceps strengthening. Fat is shifting into muscles. And inflammation is going down. I’m slowly starting to fit into old jeans.
It’s not just the gym, it’s working with my naturopath and functional doctor for the last year or two. A ton of research and reading on holistic health. Cultivating practices that supports my health. And the results are slowly showing up. I’m sleeping through the night after a year and a half of insomnia (still a little hesitant to type that as I don’t want to jinx it), swelling, puffiness and inflammation slowly coming down, getting stronger at the gym, posture is better, aches and pains disappearing. This whole health chapter has shown me the impact of chronic stress on my body. I’ve read about it a million times and only when I saw the way my body responded to high chronic stress over a long period of time that I understood what it really meant and how damaging it is for the body.
My healing journey is taking time as I’ve had to learn how to regulate my nervous system and create safety within which meant shifting a few things in my life, getting a part time job, receiving guidance from brilliant doctors and holistic health wizards, not taking any medications to speed up the process as I’m only interested in root cause healing. It feels like detective work which I actually enjoy. Being sovereign and an active participant in my own health recovery.
Consistency. Determination. Devotion. Trying different things. Over a long period of time.
We usually don’t see results right away and have to trust the process until something clicks.
As I get stronger and feel better, I’m integrating the quiet devotion behind it.
And sitting in the old cozy city cinema with my mom this weekend, watching Michael - Michael Jackson’s biopic- a spark lit up again.
It brought me back to my childhood and teenage years. As an 80’s baby, I grew up listening to his albums, watching his music videos on MTV and interviews (recording everything on VHS tapes which I still have somewhere in boxes). I got lucky to see him in concert for his HIStory tour with my mom and brother when I was fourteen. Memories for life. I had tried to convince my mom to take me to the Dangerous tour a few years earlier in 1992 but was a little too young for the complete madness (in the best of ways) that was his shows. I also stood in front of his hotel window while he was in town, getting a glimpse and wave from his balcony. Choreographies and moonwalking at Christmas for the family. Posters on my bedroom walls. Complete obsession over him in the 1990’s.
He was, and still is the King of Pop and no one will ever match his charisma, energy, talent, artistry, genius, heart, creativity and love for humanity. And as a big 90’s nostalgic soul who never stopped listening to Michael Jackson, I’m loving the revival obsession happening across the world (and social media) with the biopic movie. The cast was truly remarkable. And no one else could have portrayed and brought back Michael better than Jafaar Jackson, his nephew.
Watching this movie, the origin story, learning new things about him - like his love for affirmations and manifesting/creating the life he desired, seeing the results of Jafaar Jackson’s dedication activated a fire within again. For hard work, creativity, passion and making dreams happen.
Just like Jafaar Jackson who spent years training and rehearsing for his role — not only his unique dance moves but his voice and mannerisms just teaches you what true dedication feels like.
To reach a level of excellence — it requires devotion. Repetition. Belief. Going back to the details over and over again.
Showing up for years, often in quiet solitude, refining your craft, body and vision.
And for me it currently looks like quietly rebuilding, getting stronger and coming back to life in my own way.